Because divorce in the United States is so prevalent, many individuals can find themselves in a sticky situation. Many divorces can end in turmoil and resentment, especially if the divorce is not mutual. Add children to the mix, and many will end up in court figuring out custody and child support. Fortunately, many professionals work with divorce patients to reshape relationships after divorce. There are many ways that individuals can stay friendly after divorce, and is extremely beneficial for all involved parties. Here are a few tips for staying friends with your ex-spouse, following a divorce.
Falling out of love
Sometimes it is just inevitable, people fall out of love. Spending years with the same person, doing the same things, can become a chore. Things you once loved about a person might be gone. The reality is, that people change, and with that change can come divorce. Usually in this instance the feeling is mutual, and both parties feel they would be better off parting ways. Although they might always have love for their ex-spouse, divorce is the better option. When the divorce is mutual, a majority of the time couples split on good terms, making it easy to remain friendly with one another.
Why the need to stay friends after a divorce?
There are many reasons why individuals might want to continue to stay friends following a divorce. Families with children want to cause the least amount of stress as possible for their children. Meeting on friendly terms when it comes to co-parenting is beneficial for kids during a divorce. When they are able to see that mom and dad still get a long, but are no longer together, it makes the divorce just a little bit easier for the child.
If a couple does not have kids, then they might have the same group of friends. It might be weird for a divorced couples friends’ to choose sides after a divorce. In staying friendly with your ex-spouse, you are also saving your friends from awkward group situations. A lot of the time one friend thinks they can’t invite the other friend to major group events, such as a wedding, because the other friend will be upset. This does not have to be the case if you can simply stay friendly with you ex-spouse.
How exactly to begin your new found friendship?
After the initial shock and heartbreak that comes with a divorce, couples begin to move on, while developing their separate lives. Once ex-spouses separate, they can live apart from each other, and really work on their own personal growth and development. In doing this, individuals can work past the problems that once existed in their previous relationships, and begin to let them go. It is going to take more time for some people, which is okay. Sometimes people actually have a better relationship when it is not a romantic one. In coming to the decision to divorce, staying friends after the divorce is something that should also be discussed.
Messy, emotional divorce
Every divorce is not going to go smoothly, and can end in a nasty way. One may push to take the other to court or continue contacting their ex-spouse with degrading messages. Cheating is one thing that might completely ruin a relationship, which cannot be fixed through any means. When it comes to this type of messy divorce, friendship might not be an option. Who would want to remain friends with someone who cheated on them? Several therapists agree and say this is a situation where it is healthier to just move on. It is easier to completely remove a person from your life, than force yourselves to leave on good terms.
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Yes you read that right! Many couples choose to take engagement photos, and then couples photography at their wedding. Now a new trend for ex-spouses choosing to stay friends is divorce photos. Several couples say it’s actually a great way to let their family and friends know that they are both mutually okay with the divorce. There are no hard feelings, and both hope to move on in a mature way.
Ultimately, by staying friends or at least friendly with your ex-spouse after divorce, you will save yourself a lot of stress. In getting a divorce you were probably looking to remove the cause of your stress from your life, and you do not need it to continue after you have divorced. Getting along, for whatever reason can actually be the best thing for you, following a divorce.
Remember that if you were in a tough, even abusive, relationship before getting a divorce, a friendly relationship might not be the best option for you. Really weigh the pros and cons of life with your ex-spouse after divorce. This can really help to determine if you can have a new, healthy relationship after you are separated.
What do you think? Can exes really stay friends following a divorce? What if they have no ties to one another after the divorce, should they just go on their separate ways? Let us know in the comment section!